Manhood Crisis (and how we will know when its over)

"We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution, of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always be done." —Theodore Roosevelt

Everyone from movie stars to former presidents is talking about a masculinity crisis. And surely, we are in one. Cultural confusion fueled by the loss of a clear moral and theological vision for masculinity has left men, at best, uncertain and, at worst, unmoored.When a man no longer knows who he is before God, he cannot know his purpose in the world. Genesis tells us that man was created with telos: to cultivate, to guard, to bear responsibility under God’s authority. But when creation is severed from the Creator, identity dissolves.Men are not born blank; they are born designed. Remove the design, and confusion fills the vacuum. Recently, a brother in the faith reached out and asked, "How do you know when you’re, as a society, out of it [the male crisis]?"Incredible question, one that got me thinking. Fortunately, I am snowed in, and I have plenty of time to think... A few things would signal that we are out of crisis mode:

1. Boys Know What’s Expected
A crisis exists when you don’t know what game you’re playing. Think of it this way: a confused army loses before the first shot. So does a confused generation. When boys don’t know what’s expected, they don’t rise to meet it. Thus they drift, they cope, they numb out.Margaret Mead, cultural anthropologist, once said, "The chief responsibility of every society is to find healthy roles for its men." Mead knew that without a blueprint, men don’t ascend. We descend. Left to ourselves, we don’t naturally enlighten—we regress.No vision for manhood? Men perish. Not all at once. Slowly. Quietly. In basements and browsers and bitterness.We are past the crisis when young men can name what manhood is, biblically, without flinching, without footnotes, without checking the room first.

2. Male Confidence Replaces Learned Helplessness
Right now, the most obvious symptom is learned helplessness… Delayed adulthood. Avoidance of responsibility. Chronic indecision. Escapism: porn, gaming, sports betting, endless scrolling. It’s paralysis dressed as preference.The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside! I shall be killed in the streets!" [Prov. 22:13] Translation: a man will invent reasons not to act. He’ll catastrophize. He’ll overthink. He’ll wait for permission that never comes.We’re past the crisis when men stop waiting and:

• They initiate hard conversations.
• They pursue women with clarity and honor.
• They take responsibility before they’re forced.
• They choose difficulty over comfort without being coerced.

Not because they feel ready. Because it’s time.

3. Fathers Become Formers Again [Not Just Providers or Playmates]
Every masculinity crisis is downstream of a fathering crisis. You can’t outsource what only presence can transfer. Boys don’t learn manhood from podcasts, coaches, or youth group talks. They learn it from watching their fathers live it, fail at it, repent of it, and get back up.Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." The Hebrew word for 'Train' means to narrow, as in narrow your focus. It’s intentional. It’s formational. It’s sweat and repetition and correction and affirmation.The shift happens when fathers stop being paychecks and playmates and become prophets, priests, and kings of their homes. When that happens:

• Boys are intentionally initiated into manhood, not left to figure it out.
• Fathers give sons both affection and expectation—not one or the other.
• Mothers are no longer carrying the emotional and moral weight alone.
• Healthy masculinity is transferred, not discovered in a crisis at thirty.

4. Institutions Start Working With Male Nature, Not Against It
A huge tell will be structural. Not just personal individual transformation, but systemic change. Right now, most institutions are designed AGAINST male nature. Sit still. Don’t compete. Don’t take risks. Be safe. Be compliant. Be therapeutic. It’s like asking a river to run uphill. We’ll know something has shifted when:

• Schools allow movement, competition, and risk.
• Churches call men to sacrifice, not just sensitivity.
• Workplaces reward responsibility and endurance.
• Discipline returns without cruelty or apology.

Richard Reeves said it best: "When institutions ignore male developmental realities, boys don’t adapt—they disengage."

5. The Church Stops Apologizing for Forming Men
Western Christianity has spent decades trying to make the gospel safe, soft, and manageable. It has worked hard to remove offense, sand down the edges, and make Jesus relatable. The result? Men have left in droves.Not because the gospel is too hard. Because it’s been made too easy.Jesus didn’t call the twelve to a support group. He called them to die. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me..." [Matt. 16:24]. That’s not an invitation to self-care. That’s a summons to war.We’ll know we’re turning a corner when the church:

• Stops flattening the gospel into therapeutic language.
• Stops discipling men as if they’re defective women.
• Recovers obedience, discipline, sacrifice, and mission.
• Calls men up, not just out.

Aaron Renn is right: "Christianity must produce thick, resilient men, or it will lose them entirely." 

Not nicer men. Not safer men, but resilient men. Men who can endure. Men who can lead under fire. Men who don’t need the room to feel comfortable before they obey. So when will we know the crisis is over? When confusion gives way to clarity. When drift becomes direction. When collapse is replaced by formation.When boys know what’s expected and fathers show them how. When institutions stop pathologizing male energy, and the church stops apologizing for calling men to a sacrificial love.The crisis doesn’t end with better messaging. It ends with better men. Men who know who they are in Christ. Men who take up responsibility without resentment.
Men who lead not because they feel empowered, but because they’ve been called.

This isn’t nostalgia. It’s not a return to some mythical golden age. It’s recovery. Recovery of design. Recovery of telos. Recovery of what God intended when He made man in His image and gave him work to do. A return to what Jeremiah called the ancient paths: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls...” [Jer. 6:16].

The masculinity crisis isn’t a problem to solve. It’s a formation to reclaim. And it starts now. With us. With our sons. With the men in our churches, our homes, our lines of sight. Don’t wait for the culture to shift. Be the shift. The world doesn’t need more men wondering what real manhood is. It needs men who know, men who will live it.

For the King,— Harp